I’m going to put up a disclaimer right now just so I don’t get any backlash or anything. Everyone is different. One thing I’ve learned is that you can never really say that someone will react a certain way. Sometimes, it’s the complete opposite. So there’s my disclaimer: this is my opinion and what my mind is limited to. Also, I apologize for long responses. Okay now to the question. :P
How can you tell if someone is attracted to you? What are the signs?
Usually, if someone is attracted to you, they will flirt with you. Now, what is flirting? Flirting, by definition is, to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions. Usually, they will joke around with you or make fun of you, but not in a bad way. They’ll pester you and make you laugh. Things of that nature. They’ll also talk to you a lot. Or go out of their way to talk to you or be near you. Someone who is interested in you will usually do these things. Now, if that person asks for your number or contacts you outside of school or wherever you see them most, then you know that they’re really seeking your attention and honestly, if they’re making that much of an effort. It’s courteous to at least give them a shot. This is all assuming they’re not subtle. If they are subtle, it might be more difficult to really understand what they’re opinion is about you. I wouldn’t say that looking at you is a sign but it can be. If you feel that they’re always looking at you, and perhaps out of the corner of your eye, you always catch them glancing. Also, ask around, talk to people. Ask if someone-so has talked about you or ask one of their friends. It’s not bad to talk to people. Now – stop right there. If you are incessant about it, and all up in their friends grill or whatever, then stop. Be subtle and don’t get overly… excited.
Have you ever had any experience where you’ve had an instant attraction with someone?
I’m assuming you’re asking… if I’ve looked at someone and my heart fluttered? On first contact whether it was talking or just looking at them, have I ever been instantly attracted to someone? That’s what I’m assuming you’re asking. Well, no. No, I don’t think so. Both relationships I’ve been in, (I’ve only been in two serious ones) I never would have imagined liking either of them. I grew to liking them. So, no I do not. Sorry. :\
Does age really matter in a relationship?
This is a complex question but I’ll give you my best answer possible. If you are dating someone, or interested in someone, and they are a year older than you. I don’t think there should be an issue. Maybe even two years old. I’m good with that too. Three? It’s doable. Four, five? Kind of pushing it. Now this is assuming we’re talking about like 14 year old dating an 18 year old. To me, that age difference is too much because think about it… A 14 year is either an 8th grader or a 9th grader and the 18 year old is a 12th grader, an adult too… Okay but what about 14 and 16? Now that depends on the individual… That’s my answer. It depends on the individual. (P.S. If you want NightOwl, you can go to my user here on blogger, click the email thing underneath contact me and you can send me more information if you’d like. I’d like to hear more about this and give you more personalized advice and I don’t really want to put it out on display for everyone to see, you know? It’s your choice – I’m open to listen to anything from anyone.)
Have you ever liked someone you couldn't have? How did you deal with it? How can I get over it and move on?
I actually haven’t liked someone with whom I couldn’t have. I think the one thing that I don’t have experience with, which is crazy to admit honestly, is the fact that I don’t know what it’s like to like someone and them not like me back. Actually, now that I think about it, I think it’s because I don’t get overly obsessed with boys. I mean, when I was little I would rather throw rocks with the boys than be the damsel in distress that the boys are trying to save. And even into high school, that’s kind of how it’s been. If you read my last post, you’ll know that I’ve had my flings, one more serious than the other. But I don’t – no offense to some – waste time dreaming about boys I can’t have. If I can’t have them, I just let it go. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. But to answer your question, I would think about things in the big scheme of things. I’m assuming that you, reader, are not an adult and you may or may not even been in high school but let me tell you something, there is a life outside of school. There is a totally different life that awaits you and along with that come new people too. I wouldn’t get overly upset over one person this early on in your life because you never know where life will take you so be open to change and just be accepting with all things.
What should you do if you have a crush on a guy who has a girlfriend or thinks he has a crush on you?
I’m assuming when reading this question, you’re asking me about two different scenarios: what should you do if the guy you’re crushing on has a girlfriend already and what should you do if the guy you have a crush on might have a crush on you too? This is what I’m assuming you’re asking me. So, let’s go. First question’s answer would be this: under no circumstances should you ever try to get involve with that guy if he is already committed to someone. You know why? The lasting consequences. Not only do you risk getting caught, you become a very paranoid person – and trust me, it shows. I’ve seen it on someone’s face before. Also, what happens when you get caught? You have to deal with a lot of hate from people and I’m not sure you want that kind of stress in your life. Just don’t get in their business. Instead you should wait around for him to break up with that other guy or girl and keep your distance. Do not be stalkerish and try to tear them apart because that will lead to problems. TRUST ME.
Second questions answer is: If you think he has a crush on you, you might need to be the stronger one and try to make a bit more effort to really show him that you have a crush on him, therefore maybe giving him some confidence. You have to keep in mind ladies that guys are just as timid about girls as girls are to guys. So, sometimes you got to give them a push. I would talk to him more, make an effort to talk to him and be around him. Hey, maybe even hang out some time. If you go out of your way, they will see that if the feeling is mutual because if they have a crush on you, I’m sure they’re probably watching your every move. Not to sound creepy or anything.
What happens if you have a crush on a guy, and he has a crush on you, but you live a few states away and can't date him? How do you maintain a long-distance relationship? And, how do you do so without it being awkward and ruining the friendship?
Here’s the thing about long distance relationships that you have to understand. They have a 50/50 chance of decaying or surviving on you because distance is a big deal because it hampers to amount of time you can spend with each other and the general decrease of exposure to one another and that can be frustrating and lead to arguments and what-not. However, if this guy is truly committed to you then he won’t let miles keep you and him apart. How to maintain that relationship is a bit tricky considering you won’t be seeing them via school or something. So, try to stay in contact via email, texting, and calling. I would say calling would be best because you can hear that other individual’s voice and that might ease the tension of a long-distance between you too. Maybe over a school break you guys can plan to meet somewhere or something. Send handwritten letters to each other! That’s cute. Now, how to keep it from being awkward is don’t be all up in their grill all the time. You DO NOT need to speak to them every two seconds. And this brings up a topic of: what if they find someone else? That’s cheating, my friends. And you do not need to date a cheater. If he starts seeing someone else or you find out that he is, dump him. You do not need that in your life. Trust me. But another thing, do not be accusing him all the time or being suspicious all the time of him because that can lead to stress in the relationship. Find a balance. Be cautious but not suspicious. If you guys truly like each other, you both should be committed to each other and only each other. End of story.
Okay, that's all I got at the moment, if you have any more, please put them in the comments section!
So, let's talk about me. So my life has been crazy. Even though the past week was only a three day week because monday and friday we had off. So that was nice but it was still as equally stressful a complete week. And why is that? JROTC. For those of you who don't know, I am in my school's JROTC program and I made it onto senior staff and that essentially means that you are super busy all the time. You have to talk to people, make sure things get done and what not. It's a high stress job and I'm among the top eight cadets so.
Yesterday, we had a little ceremony after school and that was when the old senior staff and the new senior staff trade off. It was crazy - looking out onto the sea of cadets and looking where I'm sitting, at the front by the podium, with my new staff, just absolutely crazy. Getting recognized is really nice. It was funny too. When we were done/dismissed or whatever, the first person before I could even think about what to do after being dismissed, Roger - yes, remember Roger? His mom came up to me, gave me a hug and told me congratulations and how proud she was of me and stuff. Roger's dad said hi too, and congrats. And then, here comes Roger, gives me a handshake and a congrats around and behind someone... That was kind of him. However, I've snapped at Roger a few times because we've had a few run-ins and my patience is waning for him. This picture describes how I feel about it:
Yep. I will post another post about plans for the next big blog post that will be coming very soon! Thanks guys!
Talley-ho!
Chels
