Introduction to Dating/Relationships -- Here's My Story

I figured since I'd be talking about relationships/dating that I would introduce you to what I've experienced as far as that subject goes. I can tell y'all what I've gone through. I will not be releasing any names (there's no way that the people I've dated would ever come across my blog but it's just for privacy) instead they will have fake names that have no correlation to their actual names.

Also, at the end of these explanations of what I've experienced as far as dating/relationships, I will tell you what I learned from each other them and what I think I could have done differently and what-not.

First of all, I've only been in two serious relationships in the entirety of my 17 years. Or rather, I should say, two guys. You'll see what I mean in a minute. I don't count the guy in 3rd grade and the guy I was... I don't even know... remotely interested in from 6th to 8th grade. Those don't count. I'm talking serious relationships.

Let's get started!

First Guy

First Time

His name is Pete – no it’s not really but for the sake of things, his name is Pete – and I met him my freshmen year in Spanish class. The desks in the room were organized into pairs so for about three weeks you got to know someone else relatively well before she switched things up. However, that’s not exactly what happened to Pete and I.

We were put side by side because my partner was gone and so was his. Go figure. We didn’t really talk much. I didn’t know much about him, only that he was a Sophomore at the time and that I watched him from the back of the classroom as he and his buddies disrupted the class. However, to me, he wasn’t the one disrupting the class but laughing with them. He had a closely shaven head and I think his JROTC uniform that he occasionally wore was what got my attention, honestly. (I attract and am attracted to those type.)

To make things short and sweet, we spoke a little bit to one another mainly because he saw the dog tags I wore around my neck and that mostly spawned our conversation. I remember that day as the bell let out he followed me out to where my mom was going to pick me up but he quickly said his good-bye and ran off. I, for the first time in my life, felt the love butterflies flutter in my stomach.

Eventually we got each other’s numbers and we started talking more and more and eventually, in that January, he asked me to the Military Ball (which is essentially JROTC’s dance). I honestly, thinking back, it was the funniest time I’d ever had at a dance. Hands down. Freshmen year Military Ball. That was the night we shared our first kiss too. :P Aww, it’s so adorable isn’t it?

If only I’d known.

February, the next month. We broke up. Or rather, he dropped everything and ran away from me. He didn’t ever give me a straight answer or anything. He said, if I remember correctly, “I’m not doing very well in my classes”. That seemed to be the only excuse I can remember. Just left. Left me crying and distraught. Afterwards, that heartbreak sent me spiraling into the lowest point (thus far) I’ve had in my life. I won’t get far into it but I was very low, depressed, is a good word. It wasn’t that simple. I was low for about… six months. Yeah, it was a hard breakup. (I’ll get into break-ups later. If y’all would like. That’ll make a good post.)

 Second Time

I have to divide this guy up into two parts because I dated him twice

Sophomore year starts. The wounds in my heart had been stitched up but still were raw. First semester goes by (school starts in August for us by the way) and guess what, about mid-December, Pete starts talking to me again. Apologizing and what-not, telling me that what he did was a mistake. I believed him and I accepted his apology. Because, guys, I still liked him. He was my first love. There’s a place in my heart where Pete will always stay just because of that “first love” and “first kiss” and what not. So, guess what, the next January came and he asked me to the Ball and of course, I went. Another great night. We shared another kiss. It was like Freshmen year.

Surprisingly, we lasted until beginning of May. That was a record for us. We went to Prom and everything. If y’all really want, I can upload a picture of us that lovely evening. We both looked so happy. And so good. I had such a great time at Prom. (Another blog post to come about that, again if y'all would like.). So we broke up end of April, beginning of May. Again for the same reason, no straight answer just a lot of… shambled excuses. Just like the last time. Imagine that. However, we were having our own… inner relationship issues anyway. 

I thought that was the end of me and him.

In a sense, it is. I am not going to date him again. I promise I will not. I burned my hands – we both burned our hands too many times. It’s not beneficial to either us to date one another. He has his own personal problems that he has to get sorted about before he can date anyone.

As of late, my Junior year, I’m talking to him again however, I made it entirely clear to him that we are not going to date and he understands that. We are just friends now and I really do mean that. We texted almost every day but it’s always normal conversation, nothing too “flirty”. I guess. I’m kind of immune to flirting at the moment anyway.

Second Guy

Let’s call him Roger. And let me throw out some quick facts.

§  Roger and Pete are friends.

§  Roger and I were a result of match-making.

Yes, match-making. It never works. A friend of mine, before she went off to Naval Basic Training, decided to hook me and Roger up. Just for the heck of it. I was open to the idea because it was the beginning of my Junior year and Pete was nine months ago and I honestly thought I was ready to date again. Just like giving birth, you’re never really ready. (I don’t think anyone reading this has experience with… giving birth. I could be wrong but it’s unlikely.)

So, Roger and I dated for two months. And let me tell you something… my first bit of advice ever: If he admits to kissing/getting-involved with another girl or you find out that he is, dump him right then and there. TRUST ME. Please, you’ll save yourself more heartbreak. That’s what happened with us. About a month into dating, Roger told me that he kissed another girl; her name is Jessica for the sake of things… I should have dumped him then and there. But I didn’t because “love” makes you blind.

As the good person I am, I told him that I appreciated the honesty but if it happened again, we were going to have a big issue. And guess what?! Exactly that happened and he didn’t tell me. I could tell a whole week before we broke up that something was up. I just knew it in my gut. I just didn’t know exactly what…

One day, one of my really Good Friend (I'll refer to her as Good Friend) who has known Roger and Pete longer than I have, decided to take me out to Starbucks one day and eventually she told me that Roger was cheating on me with Jessica, that they just didn’t leave it at a kiss. My Good Friend said that Jessica was very open about it with her, saying, “Oh yeah, me and Roger are doing this and this and this.”  And also… here Pete comes back into the story. Pete had apparently caught them one day after school making out in Roger’s car. (I eventually asked Pete about it in person to clarify.) Pete confronted Roger about it afterwards. Roger just shrugged it off saying that it was nothing. Pete wasn’t convinced and persisted, “What the f—are you doing? Aren’t you still dating Chelsea? If you’re not going to tell her, I will.” Here is Roger’s response:  “I’m breaking up with her today anyway.”

                                                   

What a fabulous person :D -_-

So, he came to my house that night and broke up with me. Or rather, we called it off. So to speak. He told me the reason he was doing that was because he didn’t feel the same about me… right. Right. Because he was feeling vibes for someone else. *rolls eyes*

I confronted him about the cheating. He never admitted it but I knew he was lying. I can’t believe I had to find out all of what he was doing from other people. What a guy. I’m still highly upset with both of them. Not to the point of hating either of them. Just deeply upset. Jessica recently told my good friend that, “she didn’t mean to hurt me.” Uh-huh. But you weren’t exactly making me feel very good either. They’re both to blame. It takes two to tango. However, I've had a few run-ins with Jessica at JROTC events and stuff and she always seems so nervous around me. Also, yesterday actually (January 2nd) while me, my mom, and little brother went to the store to guy some Asian ingredients for a stir-fry we were making, I caught her eye as I was walking in. Imagine that. 

So... what have I learned? And what is my advice to you? 

Second chances don't exactly work. 

If he's going to cheat on you, he's not worth your time. If you hear he's cheating, talk to him about it. If he denies it, it comes down to do you trust the others telling you and the individual that you so-called "love".

Don't open yourself up to just anyone really quickly. I know you will want to but don't. Whether that's mentally or physically opening up to someone, gracefully get into it. Don't... do anything abrupt. 

I could honestly go on. As I'm sitting here, trying to think about what to tell you guys that I've learned from my experiences. But I'm finding it hard to put my thoughts to words. I sometimes have that issue but I know what I've learned. 

I hope that none of you have to experience what it's like to have a second chance not work or have someone that you thought "loved" you cheat on you with a girl that goes around with anyone. But if you do, you have my full sympathy and we can eat ice cream together and watch a funny movie. I got you bro. 

This is the last chance for any questions you have about relationships/dating before I pile it all together to a big post. I'm also doing a survey around my school (whenever Christmas break ends of course) and I would like to include that as well to give you guys an insight as to what people of different ages think about dating. It'll be a fun little statistics thing. 

Also if y'all have any random questions about this post, about me, whatever. I'll answer those too. Thank you guys for reading and I'll see you all next time! (ETA of Dating/Relationship Post: Sometime Next Week, Most Likely End of Week Though) 

Talley-ho,

Chels